Sad Days, Bad Days

You never know what's going on behind all those smiles. The sadness or chaos, you just never know.

You wouldn't have known from the last couple of posts or the smile I had on my face at school when I picked up the boys, but the emptiness, the emotional drain of this week, was evident from my numerous spontaneous teary-eyed meltdowns.

Surely I knew that moving to Australia would make times like these inevitable.

Friday my kids were slated to go stag to Kindergarten Grandparents Day, feeling sad for them and under the premise of taking video for the grandparents, I ultimately went, even though parents were not actually welcome.

But Friday was only the tail end of an already depressing week. Earlier in the week, on facebook of all places, I found out that a friend had died. She wasn't a close friend, but she was a very special person, and the incredibly tragic circumstances are so upsetting that I haven't stopped crying all week.

Her name was Shannon Britt Miller, she was thirty-five years old. Shannon and Shelby, identical twins, lived across the street from us in Florida back around 2001. Both talented artists, Shannon and Shelby had a painting business. Eventually Shannon moved to Los Angeles to attend a renowned shoe design school; she was one of seven selected for the prestigious program. When the program was completed, Shannon and Shelby started Shannon Britt Shoes, making incredible and unique wedding shoes. And a few years ago Shannon had a baby girl.

Then last week, as I understand it, a few days after returning home from the hospital having given birth to her second daughter, she had a headache. They went to the hospital. Shannon passed away of a brain hemmorage on that day.

Shannon is survived by her identical twin sister Shelby, three year old daughter, week old baby, and her husband.

The sadness and tragedy of this is overwhelming. What words can be written or said?

And time goes by, and Grand Parents Day is over. And I call our grandparent, to tell her of the video I'll be sending of my four year old singing Aint' No Mountain High Enough. The call results in the terrible news that my mom's friend, someone very close to her, is also dead.

The happy and sad days in which we couldn't be there for each other are just too much. Oceans and time zones and life keep us apart. And sometimes we don't talk to each other enough, and sometimes we don't even talk for weeks because what can you say? I miss you? It's lonely here and it may never get easier? I don't know, sometimes I can't call "home" because it seems too useless being so far away.

And I write this sad, sad post and I wonder why I'm putting it out there. I don't want a bunch of "I'm so sorry for your losses." They're not even my losses. But I guess I do want to honor these people, people who were important, people who I can't get out of my mind now.

Shannon Britt Miller donated seven of her organs to save other lives. I hope her daughters and her twin sister and her husband and her family can find the strength to get through this and find solace in the memories of how she lived her life and the people whose lives will go on because of her.