Saturday, April 3, 2010

Steer Penis, Why Not?

My life has changed.

Easter is huge in Australia and I don't actually think it's all about Jesus, it's really all about the chocolate.  Aussies love their chocolate!  So I bought a bunch of bricks of rocky road as Easter gifts... and kept one (what a shocker).   And here I sit, with this two-inch high chunk of dark chocolate that's filled with rose flavoured (note the Aussie spelling) turkish delight, hazelnuts, and Aussie-style marshmallows-- it's seriously naughty!

When did I start liking turkish delight?  When I did stop saying "flavored"?  Have I turned Australian?

But wait, there's more.

My new favourite (there I go again) cocktail is a Lychee Martini.  And I now like passionfruit.  And elderberry flavoured beverages.  And recently I was introduced to Lemon, Lime, and Bitters a lovely refreshing beverage.  Thanks Aussie Erin-- I'm making my own these days-- they're like Shirley Temples for adults.

And sometimes I wonder, maybe I would be doing theses same exact new things if I was back in America.  Maybe this isn't an Australia-centric change at all.

If we lived in Florida would we have bought Ruby the Puppy a steer penis?  Do they even sell chew toys for dogs made from steer penis?   Correct, I said "steer penis"... and not to be rude, but my bitch loves it.  Sorry, is this offensive?  Just pretend I said she loves her squeaky toy,  and forget I mentioned the whole steer penis thing.

Well before I drop the whole steer penis thing, I'll say one last thing...  watching her chew the steer penis is kind of like dog porn.  Okay I'm done... well actually, not without photos I'm not :).

Dog porn?  You be the judge.









Share

44 comments:

The Baker Family said...

RUBY!!!!! I don't know if I should laugh, cry or throw up while viewing the "Ruby Series". She is the perfect addition to your family

rinniez said...

OMG!
tooooooo funny. definate dog porn... im off to wash my eye balls :)
xx

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

Bakers- You should probably cry, then go get yourself a big ole steer penis, you can never have too much fun.

rinniez- haha, totally.

Natalie said...

You are too precious not to be one of us now! Happy Easter. :D

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

Natalie- You're back in blogland! hooray for you and us!

steck said...

As if your post wasn't frightening enough, there is actually a long thread (no pun intended) about the same subject here.

Eternally Distracted said...

The first pic passed as cute, the second and third are most definitely doggy porn!!

ChiTown Girl said...

um...yeah....ick!

ok, lemon, lime and bitters. explain, please! i actually drink sprite with bitters (to instantly relieve heartburn) is that the same thing?

Lindsay McHugh said...

Lemon, Lime, and Bitters is my favourite drink! I am stuck in a strange in-between place with my spelling. Do I use the extra "u" and switch the "z" to an "s" ... it depends on my mood.

MB said...

Oh my word, hilarious. That dog is just too freakin' cute. And I STILL spell certain words the 'aussie' way. It's been 7 years since I lived there people. WTF? I can't stop myself.

And with my friends/fam, it's not such much about Cadbury as it is Darryl Lea chocolate.

And oh how I miss Apple Blackcurrant. You can buy blackcurrant here and mix it with apple juice, but I never can get it just right. And Mango juice. YUM.

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

Steck- Wow that thread is, wow. Yuck?

Eteranally Distracted- Pretty hot stuff huh?

Chitown- Yes, and they add a little lemon cordial here- that would be like that Rose's brand lime flavored stuff (the people who make grenadine) a splash of that.

Lindsay- I really struggle with that, I have to write things to go to parents at our school and I don't want to seem all anti-aussie with my spelling1

MB- Never have had the blackcurrant drink-- I'd better add that to my to do list!

Melissa said...

Is it still bestiality if it's between two animals? Steer penis. At least they don't let it go to waste. It's creative to say the least.. was it mortifying to buy??

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

Melissa- I was with a hilarious friend of mine when I bought it, we then went to a cafe next door, sat and had a coffee, and watched her go at it. Good times, good times.

Anonymous said...

Are you going to the Sydney Easter Parade?

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

Anonymous- I don't know, where and when is that? And who are you?

JD at I Do Things said...

I don't like Turkish Delight, but I want that Rocky Road brick VERY badly.

And I've never seen doggy porn before. I feel sort of dirty.

(But so cute!)

Jill Stevens, Licensed Acupuncturist, Chinese Herbalist said...

omg. that thing is HUUUGE. and ruby is so cute i can't believe it. i have never really wanted a dog before- but now i am realizing i want one - a cute fuzzy hypoallergenic one, i'm thinking just like Ruby! does she have a sister you can ship to me?

Haddock said...

ha ha like that........and I don't actually think it's all about Jesus, what I do think it's all about is chocolate.

Thats more practical.

Melissa said...

sounds like it was fun. sorry, but I've come back to look at that picture a couple of times. I thought I'd heard of it all until I saw a picture of your dog sucking d- er.... nevermind. ;-)

(Ok I know that was dirty but it really is funny. It turns out you get them in the U.S. too, but they are called Bully Sticks)

Captain Dumbass said...

Mmm, nothing says Easter like steer penis!

Sorry it took me so long to get back to you, Blogger stuck your comment into the moderation file. What have you been up to?

nursemyra said...

oh my that is one cute dog.

have you tried a toffee apple martini yet?

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

Jill- I know, it is quite LARGE- you like that?? You really need one of these dogs! When are we booking you to come for a visit?

Haddock- I don't think they even try to act like it's about Jesus, except at our Christian school-- they're all about Jesus there.

Melissa- Yep, I heard about the bully stick thing!

Capt. Dumbass- "Nothing says Easter like steer penis", I'm so mad I didn't come up with that!!!

Nursemyra- I think I have, can't remember where. Is that your drink du jour?

Stereos and Souffles said...

I totally want your dog, minus the penis.

Marvin the Martian said...

Your dog was cute, until... ;-)

hastamananbanana said...

I say you do whatever your spell check tells you to do. Leave it to the computer gods. Don't fight it.

Your dog is so cute!

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

Stereos and Souffles- Can't have her.

Marvin- Right, it's all fun and games until someone pokes an eye out (with a dried steer penis).

Hastamanabanana- I don't even think my spellcheck works-- can you tell?

Rassles said...

IS THAT DOG EVEN GODDAMN REAL? BECAUSE I WILL KILL YOU IF YOU'RE JUST PROPPING UP FAKE DOGS AND FOOLING ME WITH CUTENESS.

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

Rassles- Why do you have to spoil everything like this? They want to believe she's real, and even if she only is a very realistic looking Gund stuffed animal who I've propped up with a steer penis-- even if-- why are you selling me out like this? They want to believe, let them believe. When I'm done with all this practical joking, I'll fedex her to you.

A Free Man said...

It's definitely about the chocolate. And the four day weekend. Don't forget the four day weekend.

Lisa said...

Cutest dog porn, ever.

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

Free Man- That's the most important part.

Lisa- Which Lisa?

Anonymous said...

Oh Dear, now I have to try and buy the steer penis here - so Bully Sticks it is then.

I miss Aussie chocolate, You really don't get the Easter Chocolate range in Florida as you do in Australia.

Not to mention the 4 day long weekend - being stuck in traffic with the other 3 million drivers leaving town at the same time as you.

The Easter Parade - highly recommended for your Kids - well I saw it about 10 years ago - so don't quote me if I am wrong.

Oh and if you have not picked it up yet - I am Aussie Guy in Florida - Your alter ego.

Corrina said...

OMG I want to squeeze your dog!!!! Anything that stupidly cute deserves steer penis. And, ick. LOL Did ya get an iPhone yet???

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

Aussie Guy in FL- Hi, long time no hear. I haven't even heard of the Easter Parade here???

Corrina- Hell yes I got an iphone-- I love love love it!! What apps have you made? Where do I find them?

Anonymous said...

Aussie Guy in FL - Ok I had to Google it, The Easter Parade i am talking about is actually calle the "Sydney Royal Easter Show" that runs fro 2 weeks at easter.

It is similar to the Brisbane show that is run in August, but Sydney's show has an Easter Theme.

Christine said...

I love Ruby and want to hug her. She's so cute.

suzinoz said...

How cute is your dog? Adorable! Glad you've discovered the LL&B. It's a great drink to have at a party when you are 1)the designated driver or 2)pregnant b/c you look like you are having a mixed drink like everyone else--and it's tasty!

anadrol said...

Cuteeeee little one! I would rather say it dog yoga ;). And hey - who doesn't like chocolate!?

Melissa said...

Dear Florida Girl In Sydney,

It's been more then a month since your last update. I miss reading your adventures. Please grace the interwebz with your presence once again.

- Still in America

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

Aussie Guy in FL- I wanted to, but didn't make it to the Easter Show-- next year??

Christine- Thank you, I totally agree.

Suz in Oz- I tried to make an alcoholic LL&B tonight-- didn't work too well, I'll have to look that up...

Anadrol- Sure doggy yoga, that's what I meant to say!

Melissa- You must have been reading my mind! I got your comment as I was finishing my first post in over a month! Or... your wish is my command.

cheap bus hire said...

Hahah! nice too funny!

submit wordpress template said...

I don't actually think it's all about Jesus, what I do think it's all about is chocolate.

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

Cheap bus- Thanks.

submit- I couldn't have said it better myself, oh-- I think I did say that? haha

Acupunture Brisbane said...

I really like the first picture it is so cute.I think it is too funny!!!